This is a topic that is very dear to my heart. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter – I was overjoyed! I was also very unsure how to prepare my son to be a big brother. Through reading, thinking, and digging deep – I came up with the following things that were particularly helpful.

1. Remember – you have enough love to go around – so don’t panic! Personally, I felt like my son (first born) stole my heart when he made me a mommy. I wasn’t sure how I could ever love another as much as him. When his sister was born, my heart instantly doubled in size! I love them both equally – with my whole heart. I have no idea how it’s possible, but it is. So don’t worry, you will have enough love to go around 🙂
2. Kids are smart, so it is a great idea to prepare them to welcome a sibling. I’ve heard other parents say that their kids are too young to prepare them – and I disagree. I think we underestimate kids – they are capable of so much more than we think! That being said – don’t shy away from preparing them the best you can.
3. Books are a great way to introduce the idea of a new baby to little ones. A couple of my favorites include: There’s a Baby in There! – Big Brothers Are the Best! (there’s a version for big sisters as well) – Big Brother Daniel – and What Baby Needs. It’s good to get a couple so that you can mix it up a bit. You also don’t always know which book they will like or connect to best. Books help put your thoughts into words, and the images help your little one to better understand what’s going on. It’s also a great way to bond with your little one in the final moments before they are no longer an only child.
4. A stroller and baby doll can help teach your kiddo how to be gentle with baby. We purchased a small stroller for our son and a soft babydoll so he could practice being a big brother. He loved it! He would push the stroller around the living room and give baby lots of hugs. We would put baby on the couch and practice how to be gentle, where he was allowed to touch baby (on the feet vs. on the face), and how to whisper when baby was sleeping. I also changed baby dolls diaper and had him help me. Our doll came with a diaper and I used kleenex for wipes and kept our powder closed when pretending to change diapers. His job was to hand me the “wipes,” powder, and clean diaper. He loved it because it made him feel big and important! We got him a soft doll that had a magnetic pacifier and he loved it!
5. Get your kiddo involved in the process. Your child can pick out a new outfit for baby, a special toy for the nursery, etc. It’s also really fun to include them in the gender reveal if you plan on doing one. A family baby bump photo session is another way to get them involved. I had Gabe put pink paint on his hands and touch my belly. We took photos to show that we were having a girl. Getting your kiddo involved in the process shows that they are not being left behind – and that they are part of this big new event!
6. Pick out gifts for the hospital. My belly was getting big and we had been telling Gabe he was going to meet his baby sister soon. He would hug me and say hi to sister in my tummy – which was super cute! Kiddos get along pretty well when baby is still in your belly vs. your newborn joins you! lol! To help make the hospital introduction extra special, and give your older child something to connect to, think about a gift exchange. I took our son to the toy store and had him pick out a special gift to give his baby sister at the hospital. He wasn’t even 2 but he still understood picking out a present for baby. On the flip side, I also watched him look around and what toys he got excited about for himself. I went back to the toy store without him and got a special gift to give Gabe from the baby. He was SO excited to get something from his sister – and it helped them bond a bit.
7. Think about how to keep your older child occupied while you are feeding baby. Newborns eat every couple of hours – so you’re going to be busy! That can be really hard on your first born. Pick out something special that you only pull out for feeding times. Once feeding time is over – the toy gets put away. That makes it special for both kids. This works for breastfeeding or bottle feeding – and acts as a happy distraction – so they don’t feel left out. As an example, I got our son some little fire engine toys and a couple of board books. They were kept in a little basket and we pulled it out when I was alone with both kids and wanted to keep him busy while I fed his sister. Instead of feeling left out – he felt like a big kid who got to play with something special that his sister was too little to play with. 🙂 NOTE: Do not pick noisy toys! Feeding time is supposed to be relaxing and for the most part quiet for baby – so pick toys your older kiddo will have fun with but aren’t going to make a ton of noise and chaos! lol! They do make trucks, trains, robots, legos, dolls, puppets, and other toys that are fun and don’t make noise! 😉
8. Revisit your favorite baby books for quick reminders on what worked well the first time around. My favorite books for both pregnancies are On Becoming Baby Wise and The Happiest Baby On the Block. I read them both cover to cover as a way to prepare and, the second time around, as a way to refresh myself for a newborn. It’s amazing how fast you get out of newborn mode. Children grow and change quickly, and we grow with them. It made me feel more calm and prepared by revisiting my two favorite books. One other tip is to highlight your favorites parts for your partner. That made it much easier for my husband to quickly revisit the refresh himself on the most helpful parts of both books.
9. Pull together newborn items from when your firstborn was little. Even though I had a boy first, I had a lot of gender neutral little pants, socks, onesies and swaddles that worked perfectly for my daughter. It saved us a lot of money, and it was special to see our daughter in some of our favorite little things from when our son was tiny. 🙂
10. Start to introduce your little one to baby equipment. I pulled out the baby swing and bassinet in the third trimester so that our son could get used to them around the house. I also wanted him to ask questions, learn who they belonged to (his new baby sister) and see where the baby was going to spend a lot of time. It’s a nice intro to how your home will change for your kiddo – and it helps to do it before baby arrives.
11. Find a sitter, family member or friend that you trust and make sure they are 100% prepared to jump in as you get close to your due date. When I was pregnant with Sofia, I had prepared a document with emergency contact info, schedules, medicine doses (Tylenol etc.), favorite toys, feeding times, nap times, etc. I also included all the details for feedings, walks, and vet info for our dogs. Don’t forget to plan ahead for the whole family. It’ll make you feel more prepared – and will allow you to relax more at the hospital. Send a copy of the document to the folks who may be caring for your kiddo and pets while you are in the hospital. Don’t forget to print one or two copies out for the house as well. Put a copy on the fridge so it’s front and center.
12. Prepare meals and freeze them! Having a second child is amazing – and in a way – easier than baby #1. I was more relaxed the second time around – having already been through the basics with Gabe. That being said, it was still super busy! When Sofia was born, Gabe hadn’t even turned 2 yet. He was still a baby himself, and he wanted mommy! By preparing meals and freezing them – it makes it a bit easier when you get home from the hospital and everyone is hungry. It will help free up a little more time so you can snuggle up with your older kiddo and have some special time. You can also make some of your kiddos favorite meals in advance – which can be comforting to them. Remember – the little things matter a lot to kids.
13. Discuss your routine with your partner. Every family does things in the their own way. When I was pregnant with Sofia, I would get Gabe out of bed each morning. After I had Sofia, it was usually time to breastfeed in the early morning, so daddy got Gabe out of bed. That simple change in his schedule was hard for him. We adjusted and I made it a point to get him out of bed still. The small things that our kids count on as part of their routine can make a BIG difference. Think about what is part of your kiddos routine and what you can continue to do even after baby arrives. Look at how you can keep certain things consistent for them. A new baby is a HUGE change for them as well – and by keeping a handful of little things in their routine consistent – it’ll give them a sense of security that they are still important to you.
14. Pack your hospital bag and write your birth plan! Check out my other posts for details!
15. Take some time for YOU! Making a baby is a lot of work – especially when you have another kiddo that you’re chasing around! lol! Schedule a prenatal massage, go out to eat with a friend, meditate, get a mani/pedi…just try to take a little time for yourself. Making time to destress is really good for mommy AND baby!

Hope this helps! Congrats again! xoxo

Creating a birth plan for the first time can be really stressful! Or at least it was for  me! I was very unsure about what to include, how specific I needed to be, and when I was supposed to have it done. Not to mention feeling obligated to do things without any pain medication or help! Arg! The thing is, a birth plan is most helpful for your first pregnancy because it gets you to really think through all the important details of labor and birth. It also helps push you to ask lots of questions and keep communication open with your birth team.

For my first pregnancy, I took a ton of time to create my birth plan. Is was super long and it had a lot of detail. Was that a bad thing? Not at all! It really helped me to think things through – and ask my doctor, doula, and hospital lots of questions. That being said – nobody read the whole birth plan after I printed it out. Truthfully – since I had discussed everything with my birth team in detail and asked so many questions – my doctor, doula and husband all knew what was most important to me. For my second pregnancy – I had already thought through everything and been through labor/delivery before. Although each pregnancy and baby is unique – I knew what to expect (to a point) and didn’t require a lengthy birth plan to feel comfortable. In fact – I didn’t even write one the second time around.

Birthing classes can help a lot when getting ready for your first delivery. We took a fantastic one before I had my son – and I learned some helpful information and several tips for creating my birth plan. The nurse who taught the class has helped deliver hundreds of babies, gave birth to two sons of her own (with epidurals due to both sons being in the breech position), and is a triathlete! Talk about an amazing woman!

She brought up many things that really helped me. First of all, remember that all pregnancies are different. When someone tells you how you should give birth (no pain medication, in water, at home, without a doctor, or anything else) – you need to remember that you are unique, so is your baby, and so is your pregnancy.

Personally – I think giving birth in a hospital is the way to go as you don’t know what kinds of emergencies may arise. That is something you must discuss with your doctor. You should think about the health of you and your baby, and about how to keep everyone safe. You should also research the hospitals in the area and figure out what fits your needs and wants best. Schedule a tour (if they give them) and find out what they need in terms of paperwork and when they need everything.

As for pain management – you don’t know what you will require in the moment. You may have a plan to be 100% natural and end up requesting an epidural (I sure did)! You may have an epidural as part of your birth plan but end up not wanting it. Your baby might be in the breech position. You may be in more pain than anticipated and require some assistance to manage the it. An epidural isn’t the only way to manage the pain – so discuss the options with your doctor.

Again – you are unique and the pain you feel will not be the same as your friends, the people in your birthing classes, your coworkers, or even your family members. I’m the same mom – but my pregnancies, labors and babies were different! Don’t let others make you feel guilty for wanting to have help or for making a pain management plan. Being informed on what pain management options are available and having a plan will help you make educated decisions in the moment. Knowledge is power 🙂

My #1 piece of advice is allow yourself to be flexible.
You need to be able to pivot on a dime. You can absolutely gather advice and best practices – and come up with a list of what you feel is important while giving birth. That being said, you need to be able to deviate from your plan because baby doesn’t have a plan. Baby needs to get out safe and sound. You and baby both need to be safe and healthy. Ultimately, that is what matters.

My #2 piece of advice is keep your birth plan short and to the point. Don’t overdue it with the requests – only the most important instructions and wishes should be included. I put together one birth plan for my husband and doula, and a separate one for my doctor and nurses. That helped keep the version for my doctor/nurses short and to the point with the info they care about most. Does my doctor care about my music choices, candles and movie choices? NOPE! Does my husband? He better! 😉 lol!

Below are some examples of what to include and/or consider as you craft your Birth Plan.

AMBIANCE:

• Soft music from preferred playlist is to be used during labor and delivery.
• Lights should be dimmed and flameless candles can be used for a soft/calming ambiance.
• People in the room should include: Specify who you want in the room for your labor/delivery (spouse, parent, friend, doula, etc.)
• I do not want any strong smells in the room (no perfume, cologne, smelly food, etc.).

LABOR PREFERENCES:

• I would like a bath or shower to help cope with the labor pains (Call hospital in advance in case reservations need to be made for a room w/ tub or shower).
• I would like a yoga ball and rocking chair to help cope with labor pains (Call hospital in advance to see if they have these items available or if you need to bring them).
• I would like to delivery vaginally – which should be prioritized if it is possible. I am willing to do what is needed for the safety of my baby – as baby getting out safe is #1.
• I would like to try to deliver naturally (no pain medication) if possible. I reserve the right to change my mind if I need pain medication in the moment.
• If possible, I would like my water to break naturally.
• I do not want to be induced and would like to wait to be hooked up to the IV until it is absolutely necessary.
• Use of a bar on the bed, on my side, or even a rocking chair/yoga ball should be tried while pushing. I would like to try to use gravity while also seeing which position is most comfortable.

NEWBORN PREFERENCES:

• I would like to do skin-to-skin as soon as baby is born (be specific about skin-to-skin before vs. after baby has been wiped clean and weighed).
• I would like to breastfeed baby once baby is born and would like help from a nurse/lactation consultant who may be on staff (great thing to discuss with hospital when getting a tour. You can also call to ask if they have staff to help you w/ nursing).

Other things to think about while putting together your birth plan includes:

• The umbilical cord – Do you what them to cut it right away or wait to clamp and cut it until it stops pulsating and until after you do skin-to-skin? Who is going to cut the cord? Do you want them to collect the cord blood for banking? This belongs in BP #2.
• Emergency Situations – What to do if you need to have an unplanned C-section. This is important to discuss with your doctor so you understand the plan and procedure in case there is an emergency and this needs to happen. This belongs in BP #2.
• Placenta – What would you like to do with the placenta? Let the hospital dispose of it? Keep it for banking? If keeping it, you must talk to the hospital and your doctor to discuss what is needed to keep and transport it. This belongs in BP #2.
• Breastfeeding – When do you want to try breastfeeding? Who will help you and what resources does the hospital have to assist? If you have trouble, what will they provide to help you and ensure baby is fed? This belongs in BP #2.
• Visitors – When do you want friends and family to visit? Do you want visitors in the hospital and if so, do you want them to wait until the next day? Do you prefer to have visitors once you are home with baby? This belongs in BP #1.
• Photos and video – What specific photos and video would you like captured? What do you want to avoid being photographed or video recorded? Who is in charge of the photos and video? This belongs in BP #1.

Remember – A birth plan is for you to describe your wishes for labor, birth, emergency situations and post-birth care. It is important for you to remember that the nursing staff and doctors want you and baby to be healthy and safe – so know that you can provide your birth plan but that things may not go according to plan.

I hope this is helpful as you think through what is important to you – and as you create your birth plan! Don’t forget to print a couple of copies and pack them in your hospital bag. For more info and advice on packing your hospital bag – check out my blog post!

Enjoy! xoxo

When do you need to pack your hospital bag? Great question! Personally, I like to over prepare – so when you’re about 4-6 weeks from your due date – it is a good idea to have your bag ready to go.

For my first pregnancy, we had a bit of a surprise when my son was born 5.5 weeks early. My doctor told me not to worry, that everything looked great, and that everything looked to be on time. I had a feeling that our son was going to come early and I was right. Talk about trusting my gut 😉 My water broke after a full day of work – and off we rushed to the hospital. That being said – my daughter stayed in until after my due date. That was a BIG surprise after having a preemie! lol!

Each pregnancy and each baby is very different. Being prepared is key so you don’t add extra stress to an already BIG life moment. One way to relieve some stress is definitely having your bag packed and ready to go.

No – you don’t want to overpack, but you also want the right things for this big event! I did a lot of research before having both of my kiddos – and have put together a list of items that I personally found most helpful. Use it to pack your own hospital bag – or as a guide while you add your own special items 🙂

FOR MOMMY:

Dry Shampoo – A great way to refresh your hair after being in labor! It’s amazing for everyone – especially moms! Spray your roots with some dry shampoo to absorb the oil and give it new life. It’s usually located by the hairspray and shampoo at your local drugstore. AMAZING way to give your hair a little love after giving birth! Especially when you’re going to want a photo with your new little bundle 🙂

Lip Balm – Pick one that is hydrating, healing, and NOT a strong flavor. Your lips get dry while you are in labor, and you are only allowed ice chips for a good amount of that time. Having something without a strong flavor to keep your lips from cracking is key.

Non Skid Socks – Comfy way to keep your feet warm, all while not having to worry about slipping on the slippery hospital floor. Yoga/pilates socks work really well for this as well.

PJs & Robe– I packed 2 sets of PJs. The first was an affordable soft cotton button down PJ set from Target. It came with a matching robe which was perfect for my needs. They were not maternity but I did size up for comfort. Having a button down top meant easy access for nursing and the elastic waist meant comfort by my tummy. The second was a maternity night gown that I used throughout my 2nd and 3rd trimester. I used both and it was nice to have 2 clean options in my bag.

Toiletries – My rule of thumb for toiletries is purchase smaller sizes or brands you like. Keep them gentle in terms of formula and don’t pick a strong flavor/scent. It’s nice to keep things organic and extremely gentle for you and baby. You will be healing from childbirth, and getting lots of skin to skin time with your new bundle, so using gentle products in best. The quick list of toiletries includes:

• Travel case for your toiletries so they pack nice and easy
• Toothbrush and toothbrush cover for you and your significant other
• Toothpaste (I personally LOVE Toms of Maine)
• Floss (I’m obsessive about it – lol)
• Travel size shampoo/conditioner
• Body wash
• Dry shampoo (also listed above)
• Lip balm (also listed above)
• Brush
• Face lotion
• Body/hand lotion (Gold Bond with Aloe is wonderful and a fave)
• Hair binders and clips to keep hair out of your face

Breast Pads – Your milk will most likely start coming in. These will help keep you/clothes clean as you may leak. I brought disposable ones to the hospital and used washable pads once I got home.

Earplugs and Eye Mask – Pack these for you and your partner if you have trouble sleeping in noisy places. The eye mask helps a lot as you’ll want to get lots of rest between feedings – which will include sleeping while it is light out.

Entertainment – Labor can be long, so packing some things to keep you busy and distracted is a good idea. Some ideas include:

• Magazines – A variety to page through
• An ipad (with charger) and laptop with shows, movies and music you enjoy
• A good book, Kindle or other reading device
• Snacks – pack some snacks for you and those who will be with you at the hospital. I packed red vines for my husband, almond m&ms for my mom, Pringles for my dad, and Goldfish crackers for me. I also packed some granola bars to share. Not the most healthy snacks in the world, but I wanted something fun and yummy for the hours we were all spending at the hospital. Coconut water or sports drinks with electrolytes are also a good thing to pack if you want something other than water.
• A puzzle book or other activity to help pass the time
• Cards (you might not play but others might enjoy it in the waiting area)

Labor Gown – You don’t need to bring one as the hospital will provide one. That being said – I brought a black cute one because I liked it better! 😉

Pillow – Yes the hospital has them but I wanted my own! lol!

Birth Plan – If you have one, pack it! I’ll be posting something separate on creating your birth plan so keep an eye out.

Nursing Tank Top – Some may tell you to pack a nursing bra…I disagree. I preferred nursing tank tops at first because my milk was still coming in and I had no idea what size nursing bra to get. A nursing tank top is flexible, comfortable, and you can get maternity ones so they fit over your post baby belly.

Going Home Outfit –  Pack something comfortable to get home in. Maternity jeans, sweats, yoga pants or whatever you are most comfy and happy in. Your maternity clothes will fit nicely right after giving birth as you still have a belly after having baby (totally normal).

Underwear – Pick something loose, comfy and inexpensive. I purchased a pack of 100% cotton underwear in a loose size that were wonderful since I had to use pads with ice after birth. I didn’t want to ruin any of my nice underwear -and the extra space was needed. It sounds strange but trust me – it you plan to push baby out – the ice pads are lovely and help a lot! If you are planning to have a c-section, you may still want to have some loose underwear for comfort around/below your midsection.

FOR BIRTHING PARTNER:

Toiletries – The list above should include most items for both of you. They may also want their own preferred hair products or special items. Make sure they pack their own in advance if that is the case.

Spare Clothes – PJs and an extra set of clothes for the hospital room. They will want something clean to change into at some point.

Camera and Charger – To help capture the big moments. Talk about what that includes (or what to avoid) before you’re in labor so nothing gets missed or overlooked. Best not to assume they know.

Phone and Charger – You may have apps, Smartphone with camera, etc. that you need in the hospital. It’s also nice to send updates to out of town family/friends on how mommy and baby are doing.

FOR BABY:

Infant Car Seat – You can’t take baby home without it! Make sure to have this installed in your car within a couple weeks of your due date. If you don’t have a car, you still need a car seat so make sure to have one with you 🙂

Going Home Outfit – Something snuggly and loose for baby to wear on the way home. I would recommend something that has legs (not a gown) to ensure the car seat buckle fits, has long sleeves that fold over their hands so they don’t scratch their face or get cold, and comes with a little hat to stay warm. It’s also good to stay away from outfits that have an elastic waistband as they will have a sensitive midsection where their bellybutton will be healing. A one piece is best – trust me.

Blanket –  Bring something to cover their bottom half while in the car seat to stay cozy. Newborns don’t have a lot of body fat yet so pack according to the weather to keep baby safe, warm, comfortable and happy. For example, light blanket if it’s hot out and warm blanket (and snowsuit) if it’s crazy cold out.

Diapers – I wanted to leave this off of my list but think it’s worth noting. The hospital had diapers ready for both my kiddos after they were born. For my son, they had preemie diapers on hand. For my daughter, they had size 1 (she was big). I don’t like to recommend bringing diapers since you don’t know what size to get before they are born – and diapers are expensive! If you want to pack a couple sizes, go ahead. Personally, I would use what the hospital has in the correct size once baby is born. From there, your birthing partner, a friend or family member can pop by the drugstore or grocery store to grab the right size before you head home with baby.

NOTE: If you have other kids and/or pet(s) at home, be sure to write out a schedule with what they eat, nap times, walk times, emergency phone numbers, any medications they need to take (with amounts and directions) and any other critical information that your sitter may need. Talk to your babysitter, grandparents, friends or whoever if going to help you well in advance so they know the plan and have time to ask questions. You do not want to wait until you’re having contractions or when your water breaks to figure this out. I personally typed up a thorough document with my sons full schedule (naps, feeding times, bedtime routine, favorite toys, etc.) as well as details on when to walk and feed our dogs. The document was then given to our best friends and my parents so they were prepared to jump in and help when we needed to go to the hospital to deliver our daughter. I also had a spare printed copy waiting at our house in case they forgot their copy. Trust me – it didn’t take that long to put together and was well worth it to have that extra peace of mind! 🙂

I know it’s a long list…but I hope you find it helpful! Use what you like, make your own list, add your special items to this one, and feel prepared!

xoxo